When I look back, no one has caused me more anxiety than my self-painted imaginary suffering expectations. I’ve been sad, depressed, and dysfunctional on numerous occasions thanks to the thoughts I made up myself.
Are those thoughts ever real? Almost never. Should I stop hurting myself like that? Probably. Is that easily doable? Fuck no.
I know it doesn’t apply to all situations, but quite often, happiness is just a decision. I’ve experienced it on several occasions. When I have a mindset to be happy, I automatically process everything positively. I’ll throw in an example.
I was in a similar kind of mindset a few years back. The weather was bad but I still rode on my bike and came to see my home under construction. That was 40 km away in a small town. On my way back, clouds burst open. It rained like there was no tomorrow. Surprisingly, I looked up and smiled. I took it in positively. The smile didn’t disappear even when my bike was almost drowned and shut down. I dragged it out of the water. Let it dry up and started it again.
I arrived home fully soaked in rain. Do you know what I said when my family looked at me with sympathy?
Best fucking day ever